Assalamualaikum
And hello to you who's reading! ;D

I was googling myself just now (cause I takde kerja duh) and guess what? My blog came up in the list. So that's how I was reminded that I actually own a blog and its been zillionnn yearsss since I write here. OK! Too much exaggeration. Its been exactly 1 year and 7 months since I posted here. So yeah.

For the record, I'm still alive and kicking (duhh of course). I can drive like a pro now HAHA. Still single. Still laugh a lot. And eat a lot. HAHA. Alhamdulillah Im doing fine. And sometimes pretend to be fine. Cause well you have to. Despite whatever shits that get in your face, you just have to overcome it. And pretend you get it under control. Plus I've been gifted with this skill to be ignorant to whatever I think should be ignored. LOL. So most of the time, I get it well covered ;D

So many had changed since my last post here except my name. I'm still Atiqah. HAHA not funny. (I actually laughed a bit). Im now a government servant working as healthcare provider in HSAJB, a House Officer to be exact. I am enjoying my job most of the days. And there are just some days where I regret being a doctor. But then I get back on track again with help from my support system. Should really give credits to those around me.

I still remembered first day of tagging in first department, Surgery. My mother woke up early and prepared me an egg sandwich for breakfast. Like she wanna go work as well. Work to prepare breakfast hihi. She did that for days, weeks then months. Until she saw most of the time I get up super late and didnt touch the sandwich. Not even bothered to pack it. I practically get downstairs and get the car keys and straight open the gate and drive off XD. Then she stops doing it. HAHA. Nowadays I go to work everyday with only sips of water. Then I get myself some breakfast or rather straight to early lunch. Easier that way. You know its bujang life what they call it haha.

Surgical passed by uneventfully. I did my periphery in Upper GI under Mr Hans and Dr Tan YR and Dr Muhshin supervision. All of them are very supportive. They teach me a lot, we ate KFC together and went to conference together. We were basically a team managing 'Upper GI' patients. Those having gastric outlet obstruction due to tumors, esophageal achalasia, varices, caustic injury (self inflicted duhh) so on and so forth. I passed my assesment with Mr Jo then off I go to 2nd posting in O&G. One of the most dreaded departments in HSA haha.

Well, O&G passed by uneventfully as well alhamdulillah. I cried twice in this department. Once during tagging, my well burst out in one of those labor rooms in front of a patient and a nurse. Of course the patient cant be bothered she was practically crying as well, its so painful being in labor haha. I was being shouted at and screwed non stop since morning and I couldnt tahan anymore. So I cried facing the mirror and when I was about to insert branula to the patient then the staff nurse told me "Eh doktor kenapa ni, meh saya pasangkan. Pergi basuh muka." Awww mind you shes one of those scary nurses kat labor room okay but she's actually okay je. She taught me how to deliver placenta, how to do controlled cord traction so you wont cause uterine inversion and also how to suture nicely after you conduct the delivery.

To tell you the truth, I really love the feeling when you successfully conduct a delivery, when the baby cries in your hand, omg that feeling is.... GOLD. But I cant stand the emergencies, the shouts and rush when it is due. When theres bleedinggg omg. Or suddenly mother fits/low GCS. Dont want to remember anymore. Haha. But its the real thing we as doctors have to anticipate and be very well prepared for.

Now Im in 3rd posting; Paediatrics. Its heaven in this side of HSA. XD Babies everywhere. Those cuddly babies, the neonates. It broke my heart whenever I have to poke them twice. But its for their benefits, have to be done. Then you go to block B where the infants, toddlers and the older kids are. The struggle is real when you have to poke them. Always need a group to help you. To hold the legs sorang the other one hold the hands. Then the kids would curve their spine and you give up already XD. No lah, theres a method for that. Who knows, know la ea....

I'm enjoying myself in paeds. Maybe I would choose Paeds for specialty. We shall see okay. Anyhoo, Im enjoying my life in Medicine despite the 'lemons moments'. But whatever, just throw it behind and take whatever gold with you. We will go a longggg way ahead. I just hope I can change someone's life to the better, help them feel better make them smile.

Eh ok la. Ive written so long. Till then. Maybe in my next post, I'm already an MO serving somewhere in Malaysia. Hopefully with a husband and a kid hahaha XD Bye!

The Day I Finally Drive A Car

*Long overdue post. Just realized I had this in the draft since May 2017!

Assalamualaikum dear earthlings. Its been a looooong time since I last wrote here. 5 months has passed since my graduation. Time sure is fleeting vanish unknowingly with every breath we took in. But in all seriousness, I've had quite a journey up till now. Some exciting stuffs happened and happening in my life; with my brothers getting married, my expanding social circle and also my newfound capability. Guys, I can actually drive. And fast AHHAHA.

Well, the realization started just couple of days getting back from the Eurotrip. Been sitting next to the driver for 12 consecutive days, navigating our way with the help of Waze, watching all kinds of vehicles on the road, and seeing everyone drive so easy and calmly (my brother and my friends) I finally gathered the courage to actually be behind the wheels. What can be so hard about it? So when my mother asked me to go visit Toklah at Pulai Indah, I literally just say okay, not contemplating any further (like I usually do). I told myself, lets just do it, like Nike always say. :)

Besides, I feel like by being able to drive around, I'll be making life so much easier for everyone. Sounds so angelic of me, but trust me, this is just a mantra to calm my nerves. I have to admit, I had that butterflies things everytime I have to go somewhere. But soon they fly away when I think of the faces I'll be helping. Luls.

And I'm proud to say, there's no headache anymore after driving alhamdulillah. Cause you see, everytime I went through something stressful, I'll get stress headache be it the exams, those scary examiners, exhausting days and yeah what else, driving. But now it seems driving doesnt get me stressed anymore! Thank God, I owe You sooooo much! Promise I'll be a good kid from now on HAHA.

I Left Home For 11 Years

Salam alaik people. Hello blog!

Well, I am currently back in home sweetest home in Malaysia. Alhamdulillah *insert widest grin ever!

The happiest feeling I must say. Because well, at last I got to be home and be stress-free for maybe 6 months minimum HAHA. I know thats so confident of me to say 'stress-free'. Anyhoo, when I think about it again, I really have made my home a touch-N-go place for the last 11 years, since I went to boarding school at 13. So by all rights, I deserve this stress-free 6 months hihi. Self-acclaimed.

So, what did I do at home?

Hmm, honestly at first I did nothing!

Then, I realized I havent done any proper housechores for the last 11 years. I did it just when I want or my mom asked me. So, off I went downstairs, grabbed a sweep and turn into a domestic goddess. Nope! Well, I started off by just helping my mom. Doing whatever she's doing. Cooking and laundry. Asking why like this, why cant I do it like this, isnt it better this way? Really someone should put a tape over my lips! HAHA.

Well, I've got to say, I salute my mother so much for being so awesome and patient. Also the rest of mothers worldwide. Really, how did they do it? Taking care of children and making up the home is sooooooooooo tiresome! You should see the mountain of clothes especially when my brothers came home. Oh God, I feel like burying myself below the bed! As tiresome I felt, I am still far from my mother's par. She could continue gardening in the evening after all the pergi pasar, kemas peti sejuk, siang ikan ayam sotong etc, masak and laundry! Phew, long way to go tiqah sahmah haha! Anyway, my mom's answer is so simple. She said "Your time will come." Thats so deep, man, I can feel my hairs shiver a bit. Luls.

But yeah, thats the challenge for mothers. That is the reason why mothers are so dignified in Islam. For the vital role they play in nurturing the generations, well they we deserved to be! *smug face haha.

Aside from brushing up my domestic goddess skills, I also spend money time on books. Plenty of books! Those I missed reading because of the so called busy life while studying. Hihi, I am so into Roza Roslan's books these days. She is the wife of Prof Kamil Ibrahim, the author of Travelog Haji; Mengubah Sempadan Iman. She writes mostly about her life, her experience with very enlightening values she learned along the way. So yeah, I hope I could finish all these piling books before housemanship starts.

Last 4 days, I just came back from Kedah and Perlis vacaycay! It was so awesome with these girls; Husna Z, Iman and Mira. TripKampungGirls what we call ourselves. I got to see paddy fields (Kg Tok Keling) up close for the first time. Walking between petak sawah (with white trousers, what a genius tiqah sahmah -_-) witnessing a big black mouse scurrying into a hole (terperanjat iolls), having a taste of kerabu pucuk paku by Husna's Tok. Meeting old friends and new kind people, visiting Malaysia lovely tourist spots, Gua Kelam and Padang Besar (like I'm not Malaysian hehe). Husna is a goooood driver, like seriously, I am so inspired. I think I could drive instantly! But nope, when I got home, I am still that tiqah sahmah who got the car keys out just to heat the engine HAHAHAHA I'm so pathetic I know, lol whatever! ^_^")

Hmm I wish I could tell everything here, but no, I dont want to. My head is thinking and wondering and doubting myself. Since last month. *insert Celine Dion's At Seventeen song in background, so much love for this woman's music. Mostly about myself. About getting on the next phase of life. Working and committing. Phew, it sounds so adulthood. (LOL, how old do you think you are again, tiqah sahmah?) So many commitments isnt it? Well, being human is a responsibility itself. So yeah, do whatever it takes to get you to your final abode in Jannah.

Fighting!! :)

Pls pray for me, okay. #doakanyangbaikbaikje . Lol, thats the hashtag we came up with during travelling with TripKampungGirls. :)

Try count how many LOL and HAHA in this post. I think I am easily amused these days haha. See?

Ok, till then.

Life As It Is

Assalamualaikum dear earthlings.

Well, well, I was reminded by someone that I actually own a blog. A very old, abandoned blog currently aged 6 years old. Oh wow, if my blog were a human, she would already finish kindergarten by now!

This place here documented so many important stuffs in my life, though honestly, its not as much as the moreee trivial, immature, what-a-joke kinda posts. HAHA. Like seriously when I go through all the posts long long time ago, I laughed at myself, saying 'what in the world were you thinking, girl?!'

The perks of having a blog is that I had fun reading what the 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 year-old-me think in the past. And I got to read what in the world did I do all these years. From struggling to get a driving licence, then to MARA interview, then to KTT moments, 1st year in Med school and God gracious I actually alhamdulillah finished Med school and currently waiting for Graduation ceremony at the end of this month! Fuh, I did it! *pats own shoulder, blow tip of scarf 

So many stuffs change these years, people come and go, Morsi went down and Sisi takes over, all goods price hike up, sugar is now limited, taxi fares increases, seniors graduated, and I dont recognize my juniors anymore, theres so much of new faces here. Hihi.

Ok, lets talk about now,

Well, I finished my Internal Medicine final exam at the end of October. Fortunately, I am lucky enough to get easy examiners from the OSCE till Problem solving. Thanks to everyones prayer alhamdulillah. Dee delivered her baby right after the final exam, her baby sure is an obedient child hihi. And then, I thought Im gonna have plenty of time but no, theres actually tonnes of stuffs to settle.

We had our big usrah, then one with the juniors, picnic, Quran sanad class and mabit in Mansoura, nadwah, daurah and pre-Ho course, the list would go on but alhamdulillah I really enjoyed each of it, I feel like these times I spent went to Allah's liking, so I dont mind at all. May Allah protect this feeling forever. May Allah bless me with more of this in future, aminn. After all, life is all about giving, so yeah I am investing my time in dunya for something worthy in the hereafter, may Allah accepts. :)

//

Ps: I miss Fatin n Faz loads. T_T

Ophthalmology

Salam. Its been wayyyy too long since i last typed here. It has been pproximately 8 months oh my goodness.

Many things happen in between. Some are so insanely happy, some are so so and many else.

Now at the moment i am in the midst od study leave. And yeah that old habit sure doesn't fade just yet. U know the habit of updating blog during study leave. Haha. Just that i need some placw to rant without burdening my housemates. They got to study too.

Currently in study leave for ophthal. Last paper before coming back home to Malaysia! But this ophthalmology is sure some pain in the brain subject. I've sufferred some mentally and emotionally challenging moments throughout this round. Cause 'fortunately' i was assigned with Dr. Eiman in practical group. And you seriously dont want to get her as your assessor. You'll surely be in deep trouble. Cause she's a trouble to begin with. Haha. Jahat gila me. But u really need to see her with the patients. Sungguh garang xboleh terima akal punya doktor. Pity the kids and the parents. But she was a very brilliant star during her days in faculty. That according to her brag-moment story in class to motivate or to show off to us is still beyond my comprehension. Haha. I learn only theoretical part but zero moral from her. Nevertheless, i wish to extend my gratitude to her for teaching us.

I think thats the reason im so struggling with ophthal right now. I cant really get some part of ophthal u know like other rounds before. Maybe because i was away for a week holiday with my family so i miss a week of class. But some of it is due to my teacher who fails to trigger my curiosity in this rather beautiful subject.

Anyway egypt is famous for their excellent service in ophthalmology you know. Its some sort of exclusiveness once you enter ophthal cause u are qualified to join only if u are the first or second in ur batch. Yeah like Dr Eiman who studied 16 hours per.day. Whatever.

So that's all for tonight. I need to burn the midnight oil to finish my study. Till then.

Salam.

Ding dong bell

Assalamualaikum.

Hihi lamanya lamanya tak post kat sini. Tolonglah. Lamanya! Haha ok orang dah faham kot betapa lamanya tak post kat sini. Tetibe rasa segan silu pulak, rasa macam mentulis kat blog orang lain. Punyalah lama tak blogging kan.

Ok ok.

First of all, Alhamdulillah, dah 2 rounds berjaya diharungi dengan penuh tabah dan sabar. Ewah. Sekarang dalam round Community Medicine yang mana lebbbih lagi memerlukan kesabaran dan ketabahan. Sebab dia macam sejenis jugaklah dengan subjek Sejarah. Tapi mungkin Sejarah lagi best kot. :)

Ilmu tu semuanya penting, cuma biasalah kita ada minat yang lebih dekat certain subjek kan. Begitulah umpamanya diriku ini dan Community Medicine.

On a second note, I have deactivate all my social accounts except for fb. Cause well, admit it, fb has become a source of reliable info regarding classes, schedule change and whatnot nowadays. My insta and twitter was my past ok. Honestly, I've posted way too many unnecessary pics in my insta, with quite a number of followers and following, so it made me rethink of dosa, membazir masa and all. No no no, I didnt say you cant post your pic, but for me myself, saya ada sedikit malu lah. I think I have too many uninvited followers and I follow too many people and I have no guts to block or unfollow them. So, thats it. I'd just delete it. Habis cerita. Tutup buku.

Serious oo. Takut jugak sebenarnya ada social accounts ni. Cuba bayangkan one day when we are no longer here in this world, the accounts would still be there for people to stalk and see. Which means makin banyak saksi amal kita kat dunia ni. Eee takut kan. Takut tau. Ok tetiba rasa nak delete blog ni jugak. (Maybe akan buat blog baru. Entri lama dalam blog ni sangat memalukan tuan badan bila baca balik.) Harap adalah benda bermanfaat yang boleh dikongsi dari blog ni. Mungkin mentambah semangat dan motivasi kepada sesiapa yang sudi. Saya ni bukanlah siapa-siapa. Tapi Allah boleh campakkan motivasi dan hidayah tu melalui sesiapa je. So, mana tahu blog ni, melalui tulisan ini, ada yang terkena tempiasan-tempiasan hidayah dan motivasi? Eceh. Waduh, ni kena muhasabah balik untuk tulisan-tulisan akan datang ni. ;)

Anyway, feeling dia best tau lepas deactivate semua tu. Rasa macam lagi banyak masa. Betul, tak tipu.

Pastukan, bila dah besar-besar ni (21 tahun dah besar la tu) rasa macam dah lamanya aku hidup atas dunia ni. Tapi macam takda sumbangan pun kat dunia. Kat agama. Kat manusia lain. Kat mak n abah pun kadang-kadang malas nak tolong jemur baju semua. Ish ish ish. Diri kita ni sangat banyak ruang untuk diperbaiki kalau kita rajin muhasabah diri. Serious ooo. Waaaa potong bawang betul la ayat aku nih. Saje je. Ok ada lagi 2 tahun nak jadi doktor, then boleh kutip pahala lagi manyak manyak sebab medan amal dah semakin besar dan lapang. Sekarang pun dah ada cuma berani tak berani, semangat tak semangat je. Hihi. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah! :)

Eh, oklah. Will write again soon. On whatever my neurotransmitter would bring next time. Daaaaaa.
May Allah swt The Most Loving, grant you and me easiness and pleasant days ahead!
Assalamualaikum.

Jalan Bercabang

*Alert*

Jangan baca kalau taknak nangis. Sebab aku bakal mencoretkan kisah tersedih abad ini wakakak (apesal gelak tetiba) tapi please, izikan aku nak sentimental sekejapan sahaja.
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Aku harap, gila gila punya harap, yang aku boleh kawal perasaan nanti. Takmau ar nangis nangis depan diorang. Buat segan je. Nangis dalam selimut takpe. Haha.

Memang tipu sangat la kalau kata takde sekelumit sedih kan. Kawan teman stay up dari 1st year kot, sesak semput study kongsi sama-sama. Sha....

Nadirah.... the one who have so much faith in me. Haha aku pun takdak kepercayaan setinggi itu pada diri sendiri tapi dia ni la hok tolak tolak you can do it ape la bagai. Haha wont forget the moment you hold my hands along that scary balance wall.

Rai.... kawan yang banyak berkorban. Ni la orangnya yang teman gi klinik malam malam sebab sakit gigi masa 1st year. Dah la cantik, pandai bake pulak tu. Am so gonna miss your red velvet!

Anith.... simple girl with so much sweetness to offer. Aku selalu rasa kalau aku kurus, mesti ada iras iras anith sikit hahahah tiba-tiba.

Memanglah boleh acah-acah kuat konon tak rasa apa korang takda, but on some occasions, sure terasa sangat ketiadaan korang. Misalnya, pergi gathering kat rumah kak teha, sure teringat anith.

Kalau makan mori, sure teringat sha. Haritu time kemas-kemas meja kan, alihkan sikit barang sha. Aku bukak buku physio dia. Tengok writing dia. Mak aihhh sayunya la hai rasa. Roomate kate kan.

And if I were to walk alone to tram, to villa, to pasar and whatnot, am sure to reminisce Nadirah. Kawan balik kelas for 3 years. Mentanam impian untuk kurus bersama tapi nampak gaya awak sorang je yang berjaya haha. Mek klate paling legend. Cool sentiasa. ;)

And yes, nanti lalu sebelah cinnabon pastilah teringat hantu cinnabon yang seorang ni haha cik kak raihan kita. ;)

Ape pun, aku bersyukur sebab masih ada ramai yang stay Mesir. Kalau tak, pengsan jugak aku nak mengadaptasi dengan hidup baru. Hah. So, jazakillah khairan kathira kepada Fatin, Fazira, Iman, Kak Suha, Nabila, Melly huaaaa aku tak dapat bayangkan kalau korang pun takda. Sure balik malaysia aku jadi raksasa cemberut! No more cheerful tiqah haha (cheerful ke?)

Eh dah la. Nanti sambung lagi. Night!

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